woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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