My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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