Don't you send me to vm
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
