i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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