you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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