I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
