I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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