The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
