His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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