"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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