just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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