She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
