Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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