I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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