Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
