As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
