Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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