You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A bitchslap is in order.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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