I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize