im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
