We need to rekindle our bromance
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
