Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
