Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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