I need help removing her.
I skipped work to stalk him.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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