Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
