it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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