Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
