Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
