i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
