Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize