Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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