I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
