The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
