I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
