I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
