Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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