Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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