In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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