yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
50% drunk capacity currently
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
