It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
