I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
