I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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