What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize