I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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