I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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