try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
