what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
