Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
