Me too!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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