i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You can't motorboat a personality
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
