I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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