I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
