after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
