Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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