I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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