don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
