I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
