All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
