I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
