he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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